Instinct is Fast but Intention is Smarter
When stress strikes - an unexpected change, a tense conversation, a looming deadline - our instincts take the wheel. These automatic reactions are fast, protective, and deeply wired into our biology. And while they were essential for survival in the wild, they don’t always serve us well in today’s complex, fast-moving world.
In moments of pressure, reacting is easy. Responding with intention? That takes awareness, practice, and a bit of mindset wizardry.
The Power (and Pitfall) of Instinct
Our brains are hardwired to detect threats and act quickly. When something feels uncertain or overwhelming, the amygdala, the brain’s threat detector, triggers a fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response. This happens in milliseconds and is designed to protect us.
But in the modern world, the “threat” might be a snarky email, a change in leadership, or an unexpected shift in strategy. Reacting out of instinct in these cases can lead to:
🌟 Saying something you later regret
🌟Avoiding a tough but necessary conversation
🌟Micromanaging out of fear
🌟 Shutting down instead of speaking up
These automatic responses may feel like they’re protecting us, but more often they prevent us from showing up as the leader, colleague, or person we aspire to be.
From Autopilot to Awareness
The good news? We’re not at the mercy of our instincts. Between the stimulus and the response, there is a brief moment of choice - and that’s where our power lies.
Like many people, I’m an extrovert. This can be a gift in many situations. It helps me connect quickly, engage with people, and think out loud. But under stress? It can also mean I react before fully processing what was said. I’ve caught myself jumping in mid-sentence, misinterpreting tone, or offering a response that doesn’t quite match the situation. Maybe you’ve done this too.
If you’re like me, you leave the conversation thinking, “Why did I say that?” or “I wish I’d handled that differently.” These moments have taught me that instinct is fast - but intention is smarter. Consciously pausing before I speak has been a powerful mindset shift that I continue to refine in my interactions with others.
How to Build Your Response Muscle
Intentional response doesn’t come naturally when your stress levels are high. It’s a skill you build over time. Here are a few practical ways to strengthen it:
⭐Practice micro-pauses. Before replying to that email or speaking in a meeting, pause and count to three. Give your rational brain a chance to weigh in.
⭐Name it to tame it. Labeling your emotion (“I’m feeling anxious/frustrated/ overwhelmed”) helps deactivate the emotional intensity and re-engages your logical thinking.
⭐Shift your focus. Instead of reacting to what’s wrong, focus on what you can control and what response would move things forward.
⭐Use intentional language. Try saying, “I’d like to think about that and get back to you,” or “Here’s what I need in order to move forward.”
These small choices, repeated consistently, help rewire the way we engage under pressure.
Response Is Where the Magic 🪄 Happens
We can’t always control the chaos around us. But we can control how we show up.
Responding with intention doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions. It means honoring them without letting them dictate your next move. It’s the difference between reacting out of fear and responding with clarity. Between escalating tension and creating solutions. Between surviving stress and growing through it.
In a VUCA world, your ability to pause, reflect, and choose your response may be the most powerful leadership skill you have.
Let’s bring this to life: What’s one situation this week where you can pause before reacting and respond with intention instead? Try it and notice what changes.